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With a few squeezes of the tip I sit back, mind spinning, guilt rising.In a few moments I undressed, returning the tank top to the hanger, putting the bra back in the drawer, socks two more down, and fold the skirt back to where it belongs.I slowly pull the panties off, using the crotch to wipe my dick off, before returning to the bathroom, panties in hand.I shower, wash the panties with me, and sneak them, after ringing out, to the bottom of my sisters clothes hamper, hoping she wouldn't notice them.While I wasn't this bold again for quite a while, I did frequently indulge this side of me. I wasn't sure what this side was, but I didn't see the harm in letting it out.I began doing the laundry more often, for both of us. Before doing a load I would go in to her room, put on a dress, or leggings, or booty shorts, always her panties, and look at myself, feel myself, and make myself cum to the feeling. It would always vanish after, but in the moment it felt right.Things continued in this. One evening as they’d romped around, mother had entered the room and had spoken with such sudden icy spite... ‘Stop it! Get off him Valerie! You should be past this sort of thing now my girl!’In that instance I knew what was implied; our activity was not decent.Something precious had been replaced by a guilt complex. It had also induced a deep sense of shame into my sexuality.Much later in married life, I discovered that only a guilt-ridden fantasy of Dan allowed me to climax fully.For me sex was a cocktail which included a shot of Dan and a shot of Shame.But since my husbands death, all that had been forgotten: until Dan had came to stay with us.While I stare into the darkness of the window I become aware of the reflection that’ s before me; of the two of them on the floor behind me. I smile at the quirk of it, like watching a hidden camera. Jez is squirming on the floor underneath Dan.Kneeling over her, he’s tickling her first on the neck then the waist. She’s in convulsions, legs.
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